pasangan impian

tiba-tiba terasa nak tulis on this topic...kenape ek??? tataula...maybe after terbaca schafi's post on her wedding plans...or maybe sbb dah msk usia yg asik do pikir pasal nikah je...nape ek??? cam gatal plak sbb baru je 18...but if you look a few years way back, waktu zaman jepun, girls at 16 are sure to be married...tapi rasanya kemungkinan aku utk kawen lamat lagi...mana taknya, bila aku 23...insyallah aku da dapat degree tapi baru first degree jek...kena smbg lagi dua tahun utk dpt 2nd degree baru la boleh jd arkitek yg sah...

cadangan mama: waktu buat first degree tu, carilah mn2 bdk(archi gak sbb mama kata sng nnti in case i hav to work with the gov...so menantu can take over company from baba...cam x leh blah je my mama is dreaming bout her daughter getting married...hahah...sumtimes i do freak out a bit) yg dok wat postgrad...pastu kawen dulu baru smbg wat 2nd degree n at the same time, the hubby is taking masters or sumting at the same uni(well... she was imagining that i would be taking my 2nd degree in uk)...mama...mama(geleng kepala), ingat senang ke....hihi? takkan nak maen cekup je sape-sape...

so this could work out kalu aku jumpa sesiapa waktu studi nanti...tataula...

so, another plan is from me: kakak malas nak pikir-pikir pasal this relationship n etc...mama carikan calon, kakak setuju je ngan sape2 yang mama pilih...kan senang ckit...x yah pikir pastu terus je kawen...hahah...but still ade prob gak because mama ni ibu kepada seorang perempuan(ok memang mama ada sorang anak lelaki n 3 perempuan but, i was refering only to me) so takkanlah mama nak jadi perigi mencari timba pulak...gi merisik anak teruna orang utk anak dara dia...haisyh...

complicated ek topic neyh???

pesan mama lagi, cari orang beriman tu no 1...tapi jgn cari org yang terlalu kaya sgt cam ank raja sbb tak sekufu dan akan wujudlah pergaulan dua keluarga dengan dua darjat yang berbeza...no matter what you do, i don't think these two golongan akan blend in...

personally, i do want the moment when that special someone touches my hands(after nikah of course) it would be his first time touching a non muhrim's hands...because insyallah, he will be the first who touches mine(with the intention, of course)...and i badly want to be his first love like he would to me(but someone did told me that this was quite too much to ask, is that so???)

siapa yang tak pernah teringin nak bercinta? rasenye cam semua orang pun ada keinginan tuh...sebab memang fitrah kita sebagai manusia biasa yang ingin menyayangi dan disayangi. ececeh...ni semua akibat baca terlalu banyak novel cintan melayu la nih...ahaks...

tapi yalah,...kalu dah jodoh tak ke mana...larilah sampai ujung dunia yg xde org pun, kalu Allah dah tetapkan jodoh kitan ngan org tu, kt still akan bertemu jugak sbb kuasa Allah Yang Maha Agung...well...i guess what i'm trying to say is that i do leave all these matters to Allah...tapi aku insyallah...tak akan pernah lupa berdoa semoga aku bertemu dengan seseorang yang beriman dan sekufu dengan ku sebagai jodohku...

so, to schafi(i've mention ur name twice already, sorry),

...i still don't know what my wedding plans would be, but no worries, insyallah you would be one of the most important person that i have to tell my plans to... but i'm telling you, it would take quite a while though...hehe..i guess???

Stars

It was late at night. i knew that. i've tried to sleep but it did not worked. i could here the sound of crickets and frogs from outside my house. the steadiness of the air that night did not made me sleepy enough to fall asleep. the reason was because my head was so full wth thoughts.

i decided to get up. i switched on the table lamp and it lighted almost half of the room which wa before, covered in darkness. i took tha photograph from the table and i slowly walked towards the sliding door. it was'nt shut so i slided it and went out to the balcony.

There were stars. stars that were shining so brightly. But...none of the stars were mine. that thought saddened me again. i took a glance at the photo in my hands. there he was, grinning towards me, showing his pearly white teeth. warm perly tears rolled on my cheek for the hundreth time.

i have to admit that he was my everything. he was the one who introduce me to the stars.he was the one who told me the reason why the stars were always shining so brightly. i did not get it at first, but now i realised why he wanted me to know the stars. "love, one day, when i'm away and you're missing me, look for the stars and i'll be among them..." he was one of them. he was one of the stars...

i met him about not too long ago...i was rushing to my first work interview and bumped into him. it was obviously my fault but wheni apologized, he kept smiling at me and said that it was nothing. i was puzzled but it was love at first sight.

little did i knew that he was one if the panels who interviewed me that morning and his presence during my interview did not do much help as i was so nervous by the way he looked at me. luckily, i did got the job and i was assigned to work under him. he was easy to work with and a great boss and...also a good lover too. he expressed his feelings towards me not long after i worked for him and i accepted him wthout any hesitation because deep down in my heart, i knew that he was the one for me.

we got married not long after that and although my friends were saying that i was rushing in with my relationship with him baut it din't matter because i knew that i didn't have to wait naymore because he was surely my lover. we shared our hapiness together as husband and wife. there were no obstacle in life that i could not go through after i met him. he made all my problems melt away just like snow melted when heated. i loved him deeply and dearly.

tears kept running down my cheeks as i continued to refresh my sweet memories with him. it did not occured to me why, why he had to go so soon from my life? our marriage had not been that long for him to be taken away from me. i rubbed my belly with love. i rubbed it like i rubbed Adam's cheek when his lips touched mine. a rub which was full of love and care. the though that Adam won't be able too see his ownly child grew up saddened me even more.

i could still remember that morning. i woke as usual and took my bath. i smiled upon watching Adam who was so deep into his sleep that he wasn't even minded by the noise that i made like he usually does. it was getting quite late and i was afraid that he might be late for work so i tried to woke him up. i tried shaking his body but i was shocked when i felt that his arms were as cold as ice and his body was as stiff as as stone.

the doctor said that it was sudden death that took him away about four months ago. since then, whenever i look into the sky at night, i could not find my star anymore and i knew the reason for this. it is because my star had died with him. but i am thankful to God that He din't leave me to go through this life on my own. He sent me something precious from Adam, a new star which was now growing in my tummy. his child that i am going to love and care as much as i did for Adam.

...and the letter arrives...although a little late then it's supposed to...

Well, ya! It's kinda devastating when something that you've been waiting for a long time did not turn up. but alhamdullilah...the letter arrived today. They told me that they mailed it on Monday...either JPA was telling me the wrong thing or it was POS LAJU's fault that it did not arrived exactly the next day but delayed for about three days. Yup, the offer letter arrived on 18th of June. the only problem was that i had to mail the reply forms BEFORE 20th June, which was only a day away.



I got panicked a little, but hey, then i remembered that i could fax it first, then mail the reply letter by using POS EKSPRESS(as pos laju was not relliable). The letter had arrived at exactly 2.00p.m. After my Zohor prayers, i went straight to the studio to get myself a few passport sized pictures...*nyesal tak wat waktu ada banyak masa terluang...haiya...* then, i head straight to mama's office. by that time, i had only about one and a half hour to fill in the forms, fax it, then go to the post office to mail it. thanks to Him again, i completed all of it without much problem.



did i mentioned that i finished filling up the forms at about 4.05p.m. and i was also supposed to pick up my sister at her school at around 4.00p.m. and at the same time, the post office shuts at 5.00? but again...it was fate, that apparently my sister went home with her friend...Alhamdullillah. *but even if she din't, i still would go to the post office first...kiki....*



there was another problem regarding the offer letter. JPA offered me for part one only(3 years) in architecture which will be done in Australia and according to the agreement paper, i am supposed to report myself back to JPA exactly after a week i've returned to Malaysia so that i can work with the government for i'm not sure how long. so this means that i can only be an architect's assistant not yet an architect because i only did my first degree while another two years is needed to finish my second degree+Masters...



*sigh...* there must have been a mistake somewhere...gotta call JPA tomorrow to make sure of it...

Year One at MAWI

BaB 1

MPV Innova terus meluncur laju menuju ke destinasinya. Debaran dalam hati memang semakin terasa. Excited, itulah perasaan yang paling ketara...so far. Teringat dengan mesej yang Zalika kirim semalam. Betul ke yang aku akan menangis hari ni?

Mulakan harimu dgn penuh keazaman. Jgn nangis2,tp nangis jugak nnti! Goodluck in ur new scool!Hapy bilated birthday 2 u!

No....I don't think so. I'm bloody excited so how could I cry then? Entahlah. C'mon Fini...you know well that anything might happen. So, kita just tunggu dan lihat.

Last Poem To My Darlings

Think of me in the summertime,
When the sky is crystal blue and the sun is shining bright,
Think of me in the springtime,
When the flowers bloom and trees full with colours of delight,
Think of me during autumn,
When the leaves turn crisp, falling silently to the ground
and breeze blowing without a sound,
Think of me during winter,
When all is white and cheerful covered in glitter,
Think of me for all the seasons to reign,
And forever, together we shall remain.

Love me when I'm happy and even when I'm sad,
Love me when I'm good or when I'm oh...so bad,
Love me when I'm pretty or if my face is plain,
Love me when I'm feeling good or when I'm feeling pain.

Love me always friends, in the rain or shining sun,
Love me always teachers, after all is said and done,
Love me always everyone, until all our life is through,
Love me always darlings for I'll be loving you.